Plain
Epictetus — The Slave

"But it's not fair," you say. "I told you my neighbor's secrets. Now you should tell me yours." Did I ask for your secrets? Did you share your business with conditions attached — that I had to share mine back? If you're a gossip who thinks everyone you meet is your friend, do you want me to be just like you? You did well to trust me with your business. But it wouldn't be wise for me to trust you with mine. So why do you want me to be that reckless?

Discourses, Against or to Those Who Readily Tell Their Own Affairs 386 of 388
Knowing Yourself Human Nature
Epictetus — The Slave Original

True, but it is unfair when you have heard the secrets of your neighbor for you in your turn to communicate nothing to him. Did I ask you for your secrets, my man? did you communicate your affairs on certain terms, that you should in return hear mine also? If you are a babbler and think that all who meet you are friends, do you wish me also to be like you? But why, if you did well in intrusting your affairs to me, and it is not well for me to intrust mine to you, do you wish me to be so rash?

Discourses, Against or to Those Who Readily Tell Their Own Affairs 386 of 388
Epictetus — The Slave

This same thing happens to us in everyday life. Just because someone trusts me with their secrets doesn't mean I should trust everyone I meet with mine. If I'm smart, I keep quiet when I hear something. But the other person goes and tells everyone what they heard. When I find out what happened, if I'm like him, I decide to get revenge. I tell everyone his secrets. I upset other people and get upset myself. But if I remember that one person can't really harm another, and that everyone's actions only hurt or help themselves, then I make sure I don't act like him. I still suffer from what happens, but only because of my own foolish talking.

Discourses, Against or to Those Who Readily Tell Their Own Affairs 385 of 388
Human Nature Knowing Yourself
Epictetus — The Slave Original

Something of this kind happens to us also generally. Now as this man has confidently intrusted his affairs to me, shall I also do so to any man whom I meet? (No), for when I have heard, I keep silence, if I am of such a disposition; but he goes forth and tells all men what he has heard. Then, if I hear what has been done, if I be a man like him, I resolve to be revenged, I divulge what he has told me; I both disturb others, and am disturbed myself. But if I remember that one man does not injure another, and that every man's acts injure and profit him, I secure this, that I do not anything like him, but still I suffer what I do suffer through my own silly talk.

Discourses, Against or to Those Who Readily Tell Their Own Affairs 385 of 388
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Ancient philosophy, in plain English.

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