Plain
Epictetus — The Slave

But you might say, "This person treated me well for so long. Didn't he love me?" How do you know, fool, that he didn't regard you the same way he regards the sponge he uses to clean his shoes? Or the way he takes care of his livestock? How do you know that once you stop being useful to him, he won't toss you aside like a broken dish? "But this woman is my wife, and we've lived together so long." So what? Eriphyle lived with Amphiaraus for a long time too. She was the mother of his children — many of them. But a necklace came between them. And what is a necklace? It's just an opinion about material things. That was the animal instinct in her. That's what destroyed the friendship between husband and wife. That's what stopped the woman from being a true wife and the mother from being a true mother.

Discourses, On Friendship 187 of 388
Human Nature What Matters Most
Epictetus — The Slave Original

But you may say, Such a one treated me with regard so long; and did he not love me? How do you know, slave, if he did not regard you in the same way as he wipes his shoes with a sponge, or as he takes care of his beast? How do you know, when you have ceased to be useful as a vessel, he will not throw you away like a broken platter? But this woman is my wife, and we have lived together so long. And how long did Eriphyle live with Amphiaraus, and was the mother of children and of many? But a necklace came between them: and what is a necklace? It is the opinion about such things. That was the bestial principle, that was the thing which broke asunder the friendship between husband and wife, that which did not allow the woman to be a wife nor the mother to be a mother.

Discourses, On Friendship 187 of 388
Epictetus — The Slave

But if you discover that people truly believe the good lies only in their will and in using their perceptions correctly, then stop worrying about whether they're family or have been friends for years. Once you know this one thing about them, you can confidently call them friends. You can also call them trustworthy and just. Where else do you find real friendship except where you find loyalty, decency, and a shared commitment to what's right?

Discourses, On Friendship 186 of 388
Human Nature Doing The Right Thing
Epictetus — The Slave Original

But if you hear that in truth these men think the good to be only there, where will is, and where there is a right use of appearances, no longer trouble yourself whether they are father or son, or brothers, or have associated a long time and are companions, but when you have ascertained this only, confidently declare that they are friends, as you declare that they are faithful, that they are just. For where else is friendship than where there is fidelity, and modesty, where there is a communion of honest things and of nothing else.

Discourses, On Friendship 186 of 388
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Ancient philosophy, in plain English.

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