Everything has two handles: one that lets you carry it, and one that doesn't. If your brother does something wrong, don't grab onto his wrongdoing — that handle won't work. Instead, grab onto the fact that he's your brother and that you grew up together. That's the handle that lets you deal with it.
Everything has two handles: one by which it may be borne, another by which it cannot. If your brother acts unjustly, do not lay hold on the affair by the handle of his injustice, for by that it cannot be borne, but rather by the opposite—that he is your brother, that he was brought up with you; and thus you will lay hold on it as it is to be borne.