Don't tell me that all virtues start weak and grow stronger with time. I already know that. Even shallow things like appearing impressive, having a reputation for speaking well, and other qualities that just impress people — these too get stronger over time. Both the virtues that actually make us strong and the ones that just make us look good need years to become part of who we are. But I'm afraid that habit, which makes most things stick, is making this weakness of mine worse and worse. When you know both good and bad people for a long time, you start to think they're all the same. I can't explain this condition all at once — this weakness where my mind bounces between two choices without leaning strongly toward good or evil. I'll have to show you piece by piece what it's really like.
It is of no use for you to tell me that all virtues are weakly at the outset, and that they acquire strength and solidity by time, for I am well aware that even those which do but help our outward show, such as grandeur, a reputation for eloquence, and everything that appeals to others, gain power by time. Both those which afford us real strength and those which do but trick us out in a more attractive form, require long years before they gradually are adapted to us by time. But I fear that custom, which confirms most things, implants this vice more and more deeply in me. Long acquaintance with both good and bad people leads one to esteem them all alike. What this state of weakness really is, when the mind halts between two opinions without any strong inclination towards either good or evil, I shall be better able to show you piecemeal than all at once.