Discourses, Against the Quarrelsome and Ferocious

Epictetus — The Slave

The wise and good person doesn't pick fights with anyone. And as much as possible, he doesn't let others fight either. Socrates gives us a perfect example of this and everything else we should do. He avoided quarrels at every turn. But he also stopped other people from quarreling. Look at Xenophon's Symposium — see how many fights he settled. See how he put up with Thrasymachus and Polus and Callicles. See how he tolerated his wife and his son, even when his son tried to prove him wrong and nitpick with him. Socrates understood something important: you can't control another person's mind. So he only wanted what was actually his to control. And what is that? Not whether this person or that person acts according to their nature — that belongs to them, not you.

Epictetus — The Slave Original

The wise and good man neither himself fights with any person, nor does he allow another, so far as he can prevent it. And an example of this as well as of all other things is proposed to us in the life of Socrates, who not only himself on all occasions avoided fights (quarrels), but would not allow even others to quarrel. See in Xenophon's Symposium how many quarrels he settled, how further he endured Thrasymachus and Polus and Callicles; how he tolerated his wife, and how he tolerated his son who attempted to confute him and to cavil with him. For he remembered well that no man has in his power another man's ruling principle. He wished therefore for nothing else than that which was his own. And what is this? Not that this or that man may act according to nature, for that is a thing which belongs to another;