Plain
Epictetus — The Slave

Should we destroy this robber and this adulterer? No, don't say that. Think about it this way: This person has made mistakes about the most important things in life. He's been deceived and blinded — not in his eyesight that tells white from black, but in his judgment that tells good from bad. Should we destroy him? If you think this way, you'll see how cruel your words are. It's like saying we should destroy a blind and deaf person. The worst harm is losing the most important things. The most important thing in every person is their ability to choose well. When someone loses this ability, why are you angry at them? You shouldn't let another person's bad choices upset your own nature. Feel sorry for them instead. Drop your readiness to take offense and hate. Stop saying what most people say: "These cursed and hateful people." How did you suddenly become so wise? And why are you so irritable?

Discourses, That We Ought not to Be Angry with the Errors (faults) of Others 41 of 388
Human Nature Calm Your Mind Doing The Right Thing
Epictetus — The Slave Original

Ought not then this robber and this adulterer to be destroyed? By no means say so, but speak rather in this way: This man who has been mistaken and deceived about the most important things, and blinded, not in the faculty of vision which distinguishes white and black, but in the faculty which distinguishes good and bad, should we not destroy him? If you speak thus you will see how inhuman this is which you say, and that it is just as if you would say, Ought we not to destroy this blind and deaf man? But if the greatest harm is the privation of the greatest things, and the greatest thing in every man is the will or choice such as it ought to be, and a man is deprived of this will, why are you also angry with him? Man, you ought not to be affected contrary to nature by the bad things of another. Pity him rather; drop this readiness to be offended and to hate, and these words which the many utter: "These accursed and odious fellows." How have you been made so wise at once? and how are you so peevish?

Discourses, That We Ought not to Be Angry with the Errors (faults) of Others 41 of 388
Epictetus — The Slave

When the man who was consulting Epictetus said, 'I want to know this: How can I stay calm and natural, even if my brother won't make up with me?' Epictetus replied: 'Nothing great happens overnight. Not even a grape or fig grows that fast. If you told me right now that you wanted a fig, I'd say it takes time. First it has to bloom, then grow the fruit, then ripen. If a fig tree can't produce perfect fruit suddenly in one hour, do you really think you can get the fruit of a person's mind that quickly and easily? Don't expect it, even if I promise you can.'

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Calm Your Mind Human Nature
Epictetus — The Slave Original

When the man who was consulting him said, I seek to know this, How, even if my brother is not reconciled to me, shall I maintain myself in a state conformable to nature? Nothing great, said Epictetus, is produced suddenly, since not even the grape or the fig is. If you say to me now that you want a fig, I will answer to you that it requires time: let it flower first, then put forth fruit, and then ripen. Is then the fruit of a fig-tree not perfected suddenly and in one hour, and would you possess the fruit of a man's mind in so short a time and so easily? Do not expect it, even if I tell you.

Discourses, What Philosophy Promises 40 of 388
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Ancient philosophy, in plain English.

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