Plain
Epictetus — The Slave

If someone else pays a penny and gets lettuce, while you don't pay and go without it, don't think he got the better deal. He has the lettuce, but you still have your penny. Same thing here. You didn't get invited to that person's dinner party because you didn't pay the price. The price of dinner invitations is flattery and kissing up. So pay up if it's worth it to you. But if you want to keep your dignity and still get the dinner, you're being unreasonable and stupid. Don't you get anything instead of the dinner? Of course you do. You don't have to praise someone you don't respect. You don't have to put up with his servants treating you badly.

The Enchiridion, Section 25 31 of 70
Freedom & Control What Matters Most
Epictetus — The Slave Original

If another, then, paying an obulus, takes the lettuces, and you, not paying it, go without them, do not imagine that he has gained any advantage over you. For as he has the lettuces, so you have the obulus which you did not give. So, in the present case, you have not been invited to such a person’s entertainment because you have not paid him the price for which a supper is sold. It is sold for praise; it is sold for attendance. Give him, then, the value if it be for your advantage. But if you would at the same time not pay the one, and yet receive the other, you are unreasonable and foolish. Have you nothing, then, in place of the supper? Yes, indeed, you have—not to praise him whom you do not like to praise; not to bear the insolence of his lackeys.

The Enchiridion, Section 25 31 of 70
Epictetus — The Slave

Is someone else getting better treatment than you at parties, social events, or private conversations? If these things are good, you should be happy that person has them. If they're bad, don't feel sorry that you don't have them. Remember: you can't compete with others for external rewards without doing what they do to get them. How can someone who won't hang around powerful people's doors, won't attend to them, and won't flatter them expect the same treatment as someone who does all that? You're being unfair and unreasonable if you want these things but won't pay the price they cost. You want them for free. How much do lettuces cost? One obulus, for example.

The Enchiridion, Section 25 30 of 70
Freedom & Control What Matters Most
Epictetus — The Slave Original

Is anyone preferred before you at an entertainment, or in courtesies, or in confidential intercourse? If these things are good, you ought to rejoice that he has them; and if they are evil, do not be grieved that you have them not. And remember that you cannot be permitted to rival others in externals without using the same means to obtain them. For how can he who will not haunt the door of any man, will not attend him, will not praise him, have an equal share with him who does these things? You are unjust, then, and unreasonable if you are unwilling to pay the price for which these things are sold, and would have them for nothing. For how much are lettuces sold? An obulus, for instance.

The Enchiridion, Section 25 30 of 70
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Ancient philosophy, in plain English.

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