Plain
Seneca — The Senator

We should give a child some freedom, but not let him become lazy. And we must keep him away from luxury. Nothing makes children more likely to get angry than being raised soft and spoiled. The more an only child gets whatever he wants, and the more freedom an orphan is given, the more damaged they become. A child who is never told "no" won't be able to handle rejection. If his worried mother always dries his tears, and his tutor gets punished for the child's mistakes, that child is being ruined.

On Anger, Book 2, Section 21 Book 2 · 50 of 103
Facing Hardship Human Nature
Seneca — The Senator Original

We ought to allow him some relaxation, yet not yield him up to laziness and sloth, and we ought to keep him far beyond the reach of luxury, for nothing makes children more prone to anger than a soft and fond bringing-up, so that the more only children are indulged, and the more liberty is given to orphans, the more they are corrupted. He to whom nothing is ever denied, will not be able to endure a rebuff, whose anxious mother always wipes away his tears, whose _paedagogus_[9] is made to pay for his shortcomings.

On Anger, Book 2, Section 21 Book 2 · 50 of 103
Seneca — The Senator

Raising boys properly is incredibly important, I promise you. But managing their education is tricky. We need to be careful not to teach them to be angry all the time, but we also can't crush their spirit. This takes close attention. Both the good qualities we want to build and the bad ones we want to prevent are fed by the same things. Even careful parents can be fooled by how similar they look. Freedom builds a boy's spirit, but slavery crushes it. Praise lifts him up and makes him expect great things from himself. But this same treatment can make him arrogant and quick to anger. So we have to guide him between these two extremes. Sometimes we need to hold him back, sometimes we need to push him forward.

On Anger, Book 2, Section 21 Book 2 · 49 of 103
Knowing Yourself Human Nature
Seneca — The Senator Original

It is, I assure you, of the greatest service to boys that they should be soundly brought up, yet to regulate their education is difficult, because it is our duty to be careful neither to cherish a habit of anger in them, nor to blunt the edge of their spirit. This needs careful watching, for both qualities, both those which are to be encouraged, and those which are to be checked, are fed by the same things; and even a careful watcher may be deceived by their likeness. A boy's spirit is increased by freedom and depressed by slavery: it rises when praised, and is led to conceive great expectations of itself: yet this same treatment produces arrogance and quickness of temper: we must therefore guide him between these two extremes, using the curb at one time and the spur at another.

On Anger, Book 2, Section 21 Book 2 · 49 of 103
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Ancient philosophy, in plain English.

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