On Anger, Book 2, Section 34 — In Plain English

Seneca — The Senator

If someone is angry with you, respond with kindness instead of anger. A fight that only one person is fighting will quickly end. It takes two people to keep a fight going. But suppose both of you are angry and struggling. Even then, the person who backs down first is the better person. The winner is actually the real loser. He hit you? Then step back. If you hit him back, you give him both a chance and a reason to hit you again. Once you're in that cycle, you won't be able to get out when you want to.

Seneca — The Senator Original

If any one is angry with you, meet his anger by returning benefits for it: a quarrel which is only taken up on one side falls to the ground: it takes two men to fight. But[14] suppose that there is an angry struggle on both sides, even then, he is the better man who first gives way; the winner is the real loser. He struck you; well then, do you fall back: if you strike him in turn you will give him both an opportunity and an excuse for striking you again: you will not be able to withdraw yourself from the struggle when you please.

Seneca — The Senator

When you don't want to forgive someone, ask yourself this: would you want everyone to be unforgiving toward you? The person who won't pardon others — how many times has he begged for forgiveness himself? How often has he groveled at the feet of people he now pushes away? What brings more honor than turning an enemy into a friend? Rome's most loyal allies are often the nations that once fought us most fiercely. Where would our empire be today if we hadn't been wise enough to unite the conquered with the conquerors?

Seneca — The Senator Original

Whenever we are loth to pardon any one, let us think whether it would be to our advantage that all men should be inexorable. He who refuses to pardon, how often has he begged it for himself? how often has he grovelled at the feet of those whom he spurns from his own? How can we gain more glory than by turning anger into friendship? what more faithful allies has the Roman people than those who have been its most unyielding enemies? where would the empire be to-day, had not a wise foresight united the conquered and the conquerors?